


I could fly a thousand oceans but theres nothing that compares to what we had

by Louloveshaz



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Famous Harry, M/M, Normal Louis, Some Fluff, sorry its shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-14
Updated: 2013-12-14
Packaged: 2018-01-04 14:33:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1082135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Louloveshaz/pseuds/Louloveshaz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“What about you, Lou?” he questioned, hating how his voice broke at Louis’ name.</p><p>“What about me Harry? I’m not going to be the thing that holds you back” Louis voice was getting a bit defensive and Harry didn’t like it. </p><p> </p><p>(aka. Harry goes on tour and Louis wants a break)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I could fly a thousand oceans but theres nothing that compares to what we had

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiiiiiii x  
> So i was listening to the song Wherever You Are by 5SOS and i just got inspired?   
> Title from the same song, apologies for the shitty ending   
> Enjoyyy :)
> 
> (Btw i dont own 1D)

Harry knew they were just avoiding it. He knew that in about two weeks, he and Louis would have to talk about it. He was going on tour for gods sakes. This was the best thing to ever happen to him. After meeting Louis of course. That’s the thing that made him more scared. What if Louis didn’t want to do long distance? Harry didn’t want to think about that.

He figured he should stop being a pussy and talk to Louis about it. He figured he should bring this up at dinner. He makes reservations to Louis’ favorite restaurant and calls him up.

It only takes two rings for Louis to reply.

“Hey Haz what’s up?”

“Hi babe, just called to let you know I’m taking you out tonight.”

“Oh are you now?” Harry could sense the smile through the phone.

“Yes so pretty yourself up and I’ll pick you up at 7”

Harry waited for Louis to hang up first.

~~

To say Harry was nervous would be an understatement. He was on his way to pick Louis up and he was shaking. This dinner date was either going to brake it or make it between them. He hoped for the latter. Louis and he were dating for about 7 months now. The farthest they have been away from each other was only a week when Harry went to visit his family and Louis had to stay behind for school. Let’s just say it was a rough week. How they are going to make it for a month Harry doesn’t know.

When he drives down the familiar road, his heart sped up. He slowly stopped the car and waited for about 5 minutes before he finally got out. He walked to the front door and quickly brought his hand up to knock.

Louis appeared behind the door and it literally took Harrys breath away. Louis was so beautiful. He was wearing a nice white button up and probably the tightest black jeans Harry had ever seen (other than his own of course). The bottoms of his jeans were rolled up showing his thin ankles and he wasn’t wearing socks inside of his black vans. All in all, Louis was perfect.

Since Harry had obviously lost the ability to speak, Louis took over for him.

“See something you like?” He questioned and the grin on his face was shit eating.

“I do actually, you look gorgeous”

“Why thank you Harold, you don’t look so bad yourself, shall we go?”

“Yes, we shall” he took Louis’ hand and led him to the car, opened the door for him and walked to the driver’s seat.

Usually Louis would always wonder about their destination. This time however, he didn’t. Harry didn’t know if he should worry more than he already was. Why wasn’t Louis talking to him? Has he realized what this was about?

The drive was thankfully short because it was a bit uncomfortable. Which was weird because everything between harryandlouis was never like that. Harry could feel the tension in the car. He needed to get out. He stopped the car and waited for Louis to get out as well before they started walking towards the restaurant.

“Reservation for Styles” he told the blonde waitress.

She walked them to the table for two and placed the menus on each side. After having ordered their food and their drinks brought to their table, Harry thought he should bring up the tour.

“So I got another call from Simon yesterday, asking me if I have decided on the tour yet”

“Did you tell him yes? This is a great opportunity for you Harry, your music will be heard all over the world” Louis reasoned, more enthusiastic than Harry had expected.

“I told him I need a couple of more days to think about it”

“But why Harry? You have to say yes” Louis spoke as if he would never have thought Harry wanted to stay because of him. It made Harry feel sad. Had he not shown how much Louis meant to him?

“What about you, Lou?” he questioned, hating how his voice broke at Louis’ name

“What about me Harry? I’m not going to be the thing that holds you back” Louis voice was getting a bit defensive and Harry didn’t like it.

Thankfully the waitress arrived with their food and they started eating in silence. Conversation postponed but not for long. After about 20 minutes of eating, they were both done, waiting for the other to start what they hadn’t finished.

It was Louis that spoke. Harry preferred the silence thought. The words Louis spoke were the last he wanted to hear.

“I think we should take a break, Harry”

~~

If Harry felt his heart leave his body when Louis left the car that night, no one had to know.   
If Harry couldn’t stop crying the rest of the way home until he got into bed, no one had to know.

~~

Of course Louis promised him that he would take Harry to the airport, give him a proper goodbye.

It would have been a bit easier if Harry wasn’t crying the whole time. Louis thought it was only because he would miss him. It was more than just that. Harry didn’t know if he could make it without hearing from Louis at least twice a day, talking to him, telling him about his day at school, how everything is, telling him he loves him. That was the thing he was going to miss.

Obviously if they were taking this “break” they wouldn’t have that much contact with each other. That’s what hurt Harry the most. He understood Louis though, he didn’t want to do long distance, didn’t want to just have a sloppy wank session on Skype. He wanted someone that was there for him, someone unlike Harry.

“I’ll miss you, Harry, have a safe trip and call me when you land”

Harry couldn’t reply though, the tears getting in his face, along with this heavy weight on his chest, making it hard for him to even breathe. He held Louis closer against him.

Finally, the plane was boarding and Harry suddenly didn’t want to go. His bodyguard, Paul, noticed Harry not moving and told him that it was time to go.

Harry hesitantly brought his lips near those of Louis but he turned his head in time and Harry kissed his cheek. That’s when he realized that this “break” will really be the death of him. Louis never rejected his kisses. After the millionth time of whipping his eyes on his sleeves, he started walking towards the boarding gate and showed his pass to the nice lady. He turned around for a quick glance and the sight of Louis slowly walking towards the exit doors, holding his hands against his face, to probably stop the tears that threatened to escape, broke his heart all over again.

~~

So maybe Harry didn’t call Louis when he landed. Maybe he didn’t call at all. He guessed that when Louis wanted to talk, he would call Harry himself. The thing is that it’s been nearly two weeks and the tour is half way over. He can’t stop thinking of reasons of why Louis hasn’t called. Not talking to Louis for a week made Harry feel depressed. Now, he doesn’t really feel anything.

Of course the adrenalin of the shows was an exception. He would always enjoy the shows, which was the only place Harry didn’t have to pretend. The rest of the day, however, was spent on the tour bus, rarely coming out.

He had been invited many times to go out and celebrate with Niall, his guitarist, but he always made up an excuse that he was too tired. Niall knew better than to question it. He and Harry had been very good friends and he knew how Harry felt about Louis. It hurt to see his friend in such condition but he knew that Harry had to figure things out by himself.

One particular night, after Harry had just finished yet another song expressing his love for Louis, he found himself staring at his phone. The contact “Loubear” brought up at the screen. He kept thinking if he should call or not. It almost brought him to tears though; he knew that Louis didn’t want to talk to him. If he wanted to talk, he would have called. But he didn’t so he doesn’t.

It continued like that for the rest of the week, Harry would find himself staring at his phone, wondering the same thing every night, sometimes just to call and remind Louis that even though Harry is away, he still loves him.

It was a Thursday night that he did actually call. He blames Niall. He had brought a bottle of vodka in, telling Harry that he would be right back with some food and they could stay in together and drink. He was sitting on the couch waiting but Niall had taken too long apparently because half the bottle of vodka was gone and Niall was nowhere to be seen. So blame the alcohol for his finger moving against the number and pressing it down.  

Louis would always answer right after the second ring, the fact that it had gotten to five and no answer made Harry worry. Was he ok or just thinking if he should answer to Harry or not? Right as Harry expected the call to go to voicemail, an uncertain voice called “Harry?” through the speaker.

“Lou, baby, Loubear, I miss you”

“Harry, are you drunk?”

 Apparently that was the funniest thing to Harry because he started laughing, he blames the alcohol again. “Lou, isn’t it funny, how you haven’t called?”

“I was busy”

“Bullshit Louis, that’s bullshit and you know it. Do you not love me? I thought you loved me Lou, what happened? Was I not good enough? I’m so sorry” Harry doesn’t remember exactly when he started crying but Louis wasn’t saying anything so he might as well continue. “I love you Louis, I haven’t stopped. I almost called you so many times just to hear your voice. Why did you want this stupid break Louis, I can’t live without you” He’s sobbing by now, he can barely hold himself together. He brings his knees against his chest on the couch and lies down in fatal position. “I’m trying so hard to get over you Louis but nothing is working. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m the ship and you’re my compass remember? I can’t go anywhere without my compass”  

“Harry-‘’ Louis starts before he’s interrupted.

“Who’s on the phone, Lou?” Harry hears a male voice ask. It doesn’t sound like Liam or Zayn though so who is with Louis?

“It’s just a friend; I’ll be there in a sec” Louis replies to the stranger. “I got to go Harry, if you want to talk, call me when you’re sober.” The line goes dead.

~~

Harry constantly keeps thinking of Louis, he has a week of tour left and all he did was 30 shows and think about Louis. He barely remembers the conversation they had when Harry was drunk but he specifically remembers hearing another guy in the background. Had Louis moved on? Harry didn’t want to think about that, he might rip his hair out.

The last week of tour is in Australia, the first three weeks were in America. Everything around him is changing but Harry stays the same. He just falls a little bit in love with Louis each day. The thought of Louis with another man while Harry is away makes his chest burn with jealousy. He just wants to go back home to Louis and make things right. But of course, he can’t do that because they are on “break”

He goes to bed and cries himself to sleep instead.

~~

He has to wake up early for an interview and he’s so glad he slept early last night. He goes through his morning routine and walks to the car that’s waiting for him.

He’s sitting in front of a woman in her late 20’s and he has a headache already. The interview hasn’t even started yet. After some questions about his new song, she gets into the juicy questions. Of course she asks him if he’s single and he replies with a nod, not trusting his voice to do any talking. She gets surprised then, she expected him to be taken since his latest song is about having found the perfect person and loving them with all he’s got. She asks him for the story behind the song then, and he just says that it’s about his ex-boyfriend, who he doesn’t have the pleasure of being with anymore.

He’s drained by the end and he’s hoping they let him back to the hotel room. He hasn’t got any shows left but there might be interviews and photo-shoots. He is not expecting it, however, when Simon calls him and says that Harry could go home if he wanted.

He gets on the first train to London and realizes he should have called Louis.

~~

He makes it to London at midnight, after getting out and finding a taxi, it’s almost 1. He gives the cab driver Louis’ address instead of his own and hopes that Louis is awake.

After paying the cab, he walks towards Louis’ door. He knocks twice and hears tiny footsteps approaching. Louis opens the door and Harrys face falls. Louis looks terrible. If Harry thought he took the breakup bad, it is nothing compared to how Louis looks.

“Louis, baby, what happened?” Harry asks, chocking a bit while tears start forming at his eyes.

“Harry, what are you doing back already? I thought you wouldn’t be home till Friday”

“They let me go early, Lou”

“Come in”

As Harry enters Louis’ house, everything seems the same. The only difference is the empty beer bottles, pizza boxes, and some take out are spread all over the table. Usually Louis keeps his house in order and cleans up if there’s a bit mess anywhere.

“Sorry about the mess”

“What happened, Lou? Usually everything is nice and clean”

“Sorry I just haven’t been really motivated to do anything”

Harry feels a bit angry now. How was the break up bad for Louis if he’s the one that suggested it? He needs to know, so he asks just that.

“I didn’t want to break up, Harry”

“So why did you?”

Louis sighs, “I didn’t want to hold you back Harry, I would feel really guilty if you have stayed home and not went on the tour just for me, I don’t feel like I’, worth costing you your whole dream.”

Harry moves closer to Louis and wraps his arms around the smaller boy. “No Louis baby, you’re worth everything good in the world and you wouldn’t prevent my dream, you’re my dream. Having you and a cute little family, that’s my dream.”

Louis cries against Harry’s neck, he starts apologizing to Harry, until Harrys silencing him with a kiss. “It’s okay baby, I love you”

“I love you too, Harry”

Harry leads him to the bedroom. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it! 
> 
> Kudos and comments always appreciated xx


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